The Comedy Central Roast of Twitter - Opening Remarks from Twitter
Thank you for all coming to my roast, and uh… I can see you all in the audience, so this will be just about the only two and a half hours where I *won’t* need to ask you what you’re doing. I just wanted to start with a little direct message from me to you. Thank you. For sticking with me, through the downtime; and the web-cocks; and the downtime; and the retweeters; and the downtime; and the #TOCTers; and the downtime.
But then, did you really have a choice? I mean, Plurk? Plurk anyone? Aw, I’m kidding, Plurk! I can see him in the front row — I’m kidding, dude! Let’s have a big hand for Plurk, c’mon! C’mon, a big hand… full of venture capital money. He needs it.
Let’s see… who else is here… Oh! Facebook is here… how about a big round of applause for Facebook? Yeah! Hey, buddy, you okay? It uh… it looks like someone’s turned on our integration, it looks like he’s just mirroring everything I say. That’s a shame. Hopefully when he comes up to the dais to speak later he’ll have something original to say. Or at least something stolen from Myspace and improved upon.
And of course congratulations to FriendFeed, who recently hooked up with Facebook and changed a few relationship statuses if you know what I mean!
iPhone is here! How about that! At least, I think he’s here — could someone turn on location services? Ah, there he is! Y’know, iPhone has been a real great friend to me — always willing to offer a place to stay. Too many places, if I’m honest. I should be clear when I say that the goal of this whole shindig is to see Tweetie and Birdfeed go at it. If you want to keep track, the hashtag is gonna be #tooevenlymatchedformetochooseasidewillsomeonepleaseaddanewfeature.
Google sends their regards, and sends them in (0.37 seconds). They would have come, but someone forgot to turn off SafeSearch and things are gonna get a little raunchy here tonight. Yahoo would be here, but they have an abundant ability to be absolutely blind to areas of the market Google has yet to penetrate, so they unfortunately cannot see this entire amphitheater.
It’s gonna be a great night, with a lot of LOLs, so sit back and enjoy yourselves. We’ll try and keep the spambots to a minimum.
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